I swear she didn't look like that last week.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
