I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just invented taco cereal.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
