Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
NoShamevember. You game?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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