Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
