I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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