I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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