you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
