The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
