fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
