New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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