I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
as a side note pls kill me
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