I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
