My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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