I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
