i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
