You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
