Michael Bay diarrhea
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
