im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
