Sry I called you an 8
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
