marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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