You made me cry and you don't even care
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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