Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
