I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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