I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
