woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
