Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize