The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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