weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
FUCK WHALES
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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