if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
