really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just had sex on a roof
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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