If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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