I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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