If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
