Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
