If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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