I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
its liver damage thursday
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
