Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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