plz talk dirty to me
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize