Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
