Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
