I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
