And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize