all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
