There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
