we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
