I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
