note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
