Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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