Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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