I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
