I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
