fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize