I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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