Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
