Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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