Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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