So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize