I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
