i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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