Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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