You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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