Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Pooping to opera.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
