what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
