thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
