fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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